Back in the days before the internet had been invented, I used to have a shelf full of field guides and identification books.
I had ones for plants, animals, insects, spiders, clouds and rocks, to name just a few. I wanted to be able to identify some of the things I was looking at or encountering in the wild.
However, I never found a field guide for humans. There really should be one out there somewhere. There should also be a field guide explaining how to see things more clearly.
In one book I was reading about bears, the author warned to be careful around bears because they can be unpredictable. I got a chuckle out of that because humans are probably one of the most unpredictable species on the planet.
Imagine that you are a wild critter out foraging for food and you encounter one or more humans. Strange critters because they walk around on two legs and wear clothes. Are they going to run away screaming? Are they going to try to grab a gun or camera and try to shoot you? Are they going to chase you, throw stones at you or maybe even feed you? I have seen humans react to animals in some truly bizarre ways.
Now, if someone was going to try and categorize humans and write up an explanation for their reactions, it might be an interesting endeavour. Imagine you are out for a drive down the highway. Up ahead you see some vehicles pulled over to the side of the road and a few people milling around. At first you think it might be an accident but as you get closer you can see they have stopped to look at the bear sitting near where the right of way merges into the forest. The bear is foraging some berries and trying to ignore the humans.
So, a lot of people are gawkers. They will drive slowly, rubber-necking to see what is going on. Some will even pull off the road to gawk from a parked vehicle. Often with the doors and windows locked, just in case. Others will get out of their vehicles to stretch their legs and get closer to the action. They mill around, talk to each other and some even try to get closer to the bear.
Occasionally, you will get a selfie-gawker — someone who wants to get a selfie with both them and the bear in the frame, and they will try to get as close to the animal as possible. Then there are the daredevil feeders. They will dig out some food, like a half-eaten burger, leftover French fries, and they will try to feed the animals to draw them in closer.
I once watched a family with kids in the car, feeding a bear through a partially open window and getting photos of a bear up close and personal. When they started to run low on food, the bear was getting more aggressive, so they tried to leave with the bear climbing on their hood and scratching the paint and ripping off one of their windshield wipers. Meanwhile, the people milling around either ran for cover or tried to video the circus.
There are laws about feeding wildlife, which a few people ignore. I see that some of the parks have now passed laws to prevent people from stopping to gawk because this is dangerous for wildlife and can lead to vehicle accidents or slowing down traffic to a crawl. So, a good human field guide should have a section on gawkers.
Some humans like to chase animals — in winter on snowmobiles or in summer in boats. Let’s put them in the yahoo section. They don’t have much empathy for animals and don’t realize the harm they can do. It can exhaust the poor critters as they try to escape from the noisy machines. Imagine if you were out swimming and a boat started to chase you or wanted to get close to get an action photo of you. Doesn’t sound like fun, yet I have seen boaters chasing loons just for fun.
So, a good field guide on humans would be an interesting addition to one’s library.
