You set out to achieve a goal. You have thought it through, planned the steps, then watched it crumble to the ground.
You feel defeated, wallow in your misery for a while, then move on, lining up the next goal you're going to try even harder to achieve.
This cycle repeats itself no matter how well laid out your plans are. This could be your quest to get into shape, climb the social or career ladder, lose weight or work harder at your relationships. Why is this?
Almost 100 per cent of the time, it comes down to what you think about your own ability to achieve this goal, your true belief in it and yourself, and subconsciously sabotaging every available opportunity.
What's keeping you held back is what you're holding onto.
Instilled in you are beliefs gained during your childhood or adolescent years when your brain isn't as efficient in filtering out what was actually happening at that time in your life. You took that story you told yourself, turned it into a limiting belief and carried it into your adult years.
The most common beliefs I hear in my practice are: 'I am the fixer, so I need to help everyone else with their problems'; 'I am the people pleaser'; 'I make sure everyone else is taken care of'; 'I put my needs last because others are more important'; and 'I don't deserve to have good things happen to me.' So many of these speak about self-worth, self-confidence and the belief of being undeserving.
These exact stories you have told yourself and are ingrained in your brain are holding you back from achieving the greatness within you. Why don't you deserve to put your health and wellness needs front and centre? Why can't you say no to the extra work piled on by a co-worker and instead, put the time into grounding a rocky relationship?
That inner pull needs to be rerouted. It's not easy but it's also not impossible. By working on your self-worth, your confidence and repeating your desires and new thoughts about yourself, you can rewire your brain to truly believe that amazing things are happening for you and there is still more to come.
Your mindset can be trained to one of gratitude, growth and accepting all the good coming your way. You deserve and will receive the best when you open the portal and change the energy you're putting out there. Among the best ways to rewire your brain and change your mindset is with cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), tapping, talk therapy with a professional who can help you navigate these thoughts, and good old journalling.
Get curious about why your thoughts and mind go to where they go. Write down the negative self-talk you give yourself and bring it to your next therapy session. Get a CBT journal and work at squashing the limiting beliefs keeping you from attaining your goals.
You are the main priority in your own life. When you do better, everyone in your life benefits. Why is something or someone else steering your success?
