I used to wonder why I鈥檇 get so upset when help wasn鈥檛 received despite my voice being loud and clear. Why I鈥檇 toss gifts aside when all I wanted was human touch. Now I know.

Not only has my relationship with myself and those around me reached a new level of connectedness, I鈥檓 not afraid to ask them what their 鈥榣ove language鈥� is so I can love them how they prefer to be loved too.

Love languages are the way we want to be loved. It鈥檚 the action you do that makes another feel most valued, connected and loved in any relationship.

There are five love languages: quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, physical touch and words of affirmation.

This is for everyone.

A quick rundown of the five love languages:

Quality time: receiving someone鈥檚 undivided attention. They put down their phone and actively listen, making you feel loved.

Acts of service: doing things that make a person鈥檚 life easier. It鈥檚 noticed and appreciated and makes you feel valued.

Receiving gifts: enjoys receiving gifts but also, the thought that went into buying that gift makes you feel loved.

Physical touch: connection through touch whether it鈥檚 holding hands, back rubs, or a simple squeeze on the arm.

Words of affirmation: words of love, encouragement and appreciation make you feel warm, valued, and loved.

My love languages are physical touch and acts of service. Why should you care? You shouldn鈥檛 but knowing your own and others who are important in your life will not only open up bigger lines of communication and connection, but your relationships will grow stronger.

What is this love language gibberish all about?

Knowing your partner鈥檚, your child鈥檚, your friend鈥檚 and even your co-workers鈥� love language can turn a stale relationship into one that thrives.

Are you showing love in the way your partner wants to receive it? Is your child not responding to you showering them with gifts and blowing a gasket when you are too busy to sit down and play a game of cards? Taking the simple test below can help restore and strengthen a relationship.

What often happens in a relationship is, one person, often unknowingly, expresses love using their own love language to someone else, which can trigger resentment. This is where communication is key.

An example of this is, a husband, whose love language is receiving gifts, who shows up at home with flowers. When his partner, whose love language is acts of service, would actually love for him to take over making dinner so he/she can rest while the baby鈥檚 sleeping. Partner A thinks they鈥檝e shown love with flowers when really, partner B just needs help, causing partner A to wonder why he/she is so ungrateful. Resentment builds. If both parties knew the other鈥檚 love language, this would play out a lot differently and the love connection would build.

Everyone communicates and receives love differently.

Be in tune with your partner, friend, child, co-worker or anyone you鈥檙e in a relationship with. This connection will tell you their love language. If you鈥檙e stuck, just ask them. Note that both parties should participate and be aware of this for relationships and connections to be restored/strengthened.

What makes you tick? What鈥檚 your love language? You can find out what yours are at

-Sara Aloimonos is a life coach and functional nutritionist based in Yellowknife.